Chapter 14: How to make your family happy

Thu, 28/01/2010 - 10:00 -- James Oakley

This post is part of a series of posts summarising chapters of the Jehovah Witnesses' booklet, "What does the Bible really Teach?", and seeking to evaluate those chapters against Scripture somewhat briefly. Those posts were introduced at the Introduction, and a contents page will be added to that entry once this run of posts has finished.

Chapter 14: How to make your family happy

God wants your family to be happy; this starts by recognising that family life originates with God, and happiness comes from each member playing the role God asks.

This chapter suggests that God created us in families; we can’t see God, but we can see Jesus who is God’s son. By looking at him we can see how God thinks our families should function.

A model for husbands: Husbands are to treat their wives as Jesus treats his disciples. This means loving them, sacrificially, even when mistreated by them, taking gracious account of their limitations, recognising that she is united with him.

An example for wives: Jesus’ submission to God’s headship is a fine example: Men may make any mistakes, but the wife’s response is not to try and take over but to submit anyway, even if her husband is not a believer. “Tactfully expressing an opinion” is not disrespectful. The wife can do much to care for her family, and separation from him is only allowed in very particular circumstances.

A perfect example for parents: Look at the way Jesus treated children. He took time for them, and he protected them. The way he handled his erring disciples sets a good example for discipline.

A model for children: They can look at the kind of child Jesus was – he obeyed his heavenly father and his human parents.

Evaluation

This chapter offers a fine summary of much of the biblical material on family relations.

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Comments

Rebecca's picture
Submitted by Rebecca on

Are you seriously suggesting that a wife should view being mistreated by her husband as a mistake that she should tactfully suggest he should rectify? How many abused women have you ministered to?

James Oakley's picture
Submitted by James Oakley on

What I was doing was reading the booklet that the JW folk gave to me to read, and seeking to identify those points where the teaching within it departs substantially from Scripture. Within that context, the question to ask is: "Are the JW's seriously suggesting that a wife should view...?" I don't believe that they are. If they were, then that would be a substantial departure from Scripture.

One thing I have learnt, as I've read their material is that the book doesn't tell you everything that they think. This is what they have decided to present to people as their primary doorstep text. Push behind some of the stuff within it and you start to find that there is less common ground than this particular tract might suggest. At this point, I have to hold my hands up and say that I don't know enough about the JWs to be able to say what they would say in response to your question. Next time you're talking to one (or two), why not ask them, and post the answer you get on here?

James Oakley's picture
Submitted by James Oakley on

The JW's remark was on men who make mistakes, that is all of us. Your comment moved on to ask about women who are mistreated by their husbands, which is a more particular concern, and then moved on further still to ask about abused women, which is a tighter subgroup again. Re-reading that chapter of WDTBRT, it doesn't seem to me that they are addressing the question of abuse. So, no, I wasn't saying that it is biblical to allow the abuse of women.

As I said earlier on, I was not assenting with every statement in that chapter, but rather saying this is a chapter that I don't have major issues with. Your comment prompted me to re-read it, and the silence on the question of abuse is one matter that does concern me. (There is anecdotal evidence out there (for what it's worth) that suggests we would be right to be concerned about silence at this point.) Talking about separation and divorce, page 139 reads: "Only fornication by one of the marriage mates provides Scriptural grounds for divorce." Without wanting to get into an extended discussion on divorce, Exodus 21:10-11 leads me to believe that abuse is also legitimate grounds.

So this chapter contains comparatively little to disagree with. But that's not to say that everything in the chapter is biblical, and you've put your finger on one such issue

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